Amazing beauty can come from dealing with something hard...literally. Take the PEARL for instance. The only treasured gem created within the body of a living organism. Created by some say a grand of sand but most often it is actually a parasite that invades the shell and makes it way to the soft tissue of the Mollusk. In response the Mollusk secrets a crystalline substance called nacre and over time builds up layers and layers forming the pearl.
This weekend I got my parents who live with me (or more matter-of-factly are dying with me) admitted to in-home hospice. They have been here since November of last year now. Sometimes I wonder if my heart will be producing a pearl. I have helped others into the next world (insert belief here) But it is very different when it is your parents. Remaining joyful and loving in the face of the inch by inch departure is a job that comes with a consistent heartache because of the love and attachment you have with and for them.
I've been thinking a lot about pearls lately. So beautiful an analogy they are to my present experience. The pearls my heart makes come in the form of wisdom and blessings. I am grateful for having this time in order to work through many past and childhood dilemmas (shall we say...I like that word better than "issues"!) and have chosen to take this time to learn to love my parents more deeply. A hard, soft, wonderful, awful, terrible, grace-filled, loving, wonderful, sad time.
So I have decided to work with pearls, add pearls to my work. Somehow makes sense to me right now in a poetic, beautiful sort of way...and I will take that kind of gracefulness where ever I can find it during these end days. It is a sort of comfort in its own way for me. And every time I see the pearls once my parents have passed I will think of my mother's smile as she lay and look up at me; and hear my father say out loud that he loves me. These are my pearls, my pearl blessings.
In nature real pearls are very rare. It is commonly believed that one in every ten thousand mollusks produces a gem quality pearl. Recently I came across a pearl farm in Tahiti (that I would LOVE to visit) and have been inquiring about price and read up on production. As I am suddenly drawn to round perfect pearls while during the rest of my career I have preferred Baroque. Interesting how our tastes change and why.
Why questions are often difficult questions that do not have answers; so I seldom ask "why" questions these days. I believe it is safe to suffice that I am learning (deeply) that life is messy in a very perfect way.
Gotta go re-drill some pearls so they have larger holes so I can string them on leather!
Until next time....